valerie plans a wedding. or tries.

Long time, no see

2009-04-14T12:06:00.002-04:00

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I've been spending most of my blogging energy at robots and candy. It's been really nice to write whatever I want and not feel like I'm disappointing those who come here to read about my wedding progress.

We mailed invitations and I am having a blast getting RSVP cards back. It's like I mailed out a bunch of little surprises for myself. I got the biggest handful of them today and have only received one "no" so far. While none of them have been from the people I wanted to RSVP the most (family members I thought might not make it in from out of town), I love getting things in the mail and knowing that people have, in fact, received my lovingly assembled and hand-embossed invites.

Both of our wedding bands are the correct size and in our possession. I had my first fitting and am no longer petrified about a bustle making my dress ugly. I have ordered and received bridesmaids' gifts.

All I can do is sing that awful Europe song all the time... "It's the final COUNTDOWN!!"

new and different

2009-03-26T20:02:00.002-04:00

*ahem* Announcing the new and different blog Robots and Candy. I kinda followed Kait's lead on the jump over to Wordpress but more than anything, that's where my non-related wedding stuff is gonna live from now on. This space is gonna be wedding junk only. Less clutter, more wedding. Bam.

We decided on flowers! We're going to go with the one and only florist I made an appointment with. Hooray!

Bridesmaids dresses came in yesterday. I got a call today saying that my veil came in. My shoes came in last week. I can officially wear my whole outfit to my wedding now. All of the pieces are in town.

I have my first fitting appointment on April 1. Nothing like making a serious appointment in April Fools Day. I'm not really expecting any surprises in that my dress just needs to be hemmed and bustled, but that's when you get surprises, when you're not expecting them.

Jon's ring came in a couple days ago and we picked it up last night. It's awesome. The store only carried 4mm and 6mm bands, but the 4mm was too narrow and the 6mm was way too wide. We ordered a 5mm without even seeing one and it's really cool. Now we just have to wait 2 months to wear them. Less than 2 months. Like 59 days or something crazy like that. Eek.

Caution! contains actual wedding planning content!

2009-03-15T12:30:00.004-04:00

Be careful, Ladies and Gents. This post actually consists mostly of wedding planning information, unlike most of my other posts on this, my wedding blog. Whoa.

Yesterday was my appointment with the one florist who could make an appointment on a Saturday. A few of the other places that I talked to only make consultation appointments during the week. Now, don't get me wrong, I value my weekends off. That is my personal time and the Saturdays that I do work totally infringe on the time I need to recover and prepare myself for another week. That being said, people who are getting married apparently don't work day jobs. Apparently if you want flowers at your wedding, you either work part time and don't work days or you can randomly disappear from your job for hours on end during the day. Whatever.

The good news is that the florist that I really liked is the one that could make an appointment with me. Mom, Kait, and I trucked down there and entertained this lady for a little bit while I attempted to explain what I thought I wanted. This was difficult since I know very very very little about flowers. We had also been given so inaccurate information about hydrangeas from another florist. He told me they were so fragile that they'd wilt halfway through the ceremony. This is apparently just not true. Yes, they should be in water as long as possible, but so should most flowers. The other good aspect is that since the blooms are so large, you can use one to make a bouquet very full. And they are exceptionally Southern and match all three colors of our color scheme. Bam. Done. The only problem is that she's going to call me Monday or Tuesday with how much it will cost. I'm terrified.

Afterwards we went to the Emory Road Garden Center out in Powell/Halls to look at Pansies for our centerpieces. In attempt to cut down on flower costs, we're not going to do our centerpieces through a florist. We're gonna make a trip to the garden center or Lowes and buy a few flats of pansies, slap 'em in a galvanized wash bin, tie some ribbon on it, and call it done. I think it's gonna be great.

We poked around looking at pansies and then went and got our nails did. That's clearly what you're supposed to do when you're out with your mom and your best friend on a rainy Saturday. Run some wedding errands and then let someone else beautify you. Awesome.

We also already got our first wedding gift: bomb-ass sheets we registered for at Bed Bath and Beyond. Despite my previous distaste for "Bloodbath and Beyond," the girls in the registry department have been the nicest and most helpful in my registry experience. The Belk lady frightened me with her fast talking and excitement about Wilton Armatele (which is difficult to understand when she says is really fast and you've never heard of it before.) The girl at Williams Sonoma might have been helpful if she hadn't been so busy. Instead she practically tossed us a scanning gun, asked us if we new how to use it, and mentioned we should register for things in price groups before sending us on our way. The Bed Bath and Beyond girls at least seem to be excited for you, but not overly pushy. They're willing to wander around with you if you want them to or just leave you alone and check up on you occasionally. I give it 2 thumbs up. Two awesomely manicured, acrylic-nailed (currently pink) thumbs up.

Today we are at Jonathan's recording studio for a bit while he does some work before we go to the gym. After the gym will hopefully be a trip to the mall to buy Jon's wedding band. Fingers crossed.

Progress!!

hey did anyone notice?

2009-03-11T00:00:00.001-04:00

Did you all know I'm getting married? Like an adult?

Did you all know I'm an adult?

That's pretty much news to me.

take that, fasteners!

2009-03-05T14:56:00.005-05:00

Ohhh zippers. You thought you could outsmart me. You thought you could be too difficult for me to figure out without asking for help or looking up tips for how to master you online. But you didn't know how tenacious I am. You didn't know that my desire to make an appropriately size baggie for my snacks could overpower my frustration with sewing in a zipper.

I am totally your boss now.
Hippy dippy snack bag v2.0 is just the right size, has a functioning zipper and is much more attractive and durable than my initial attempt. I won't feel bad for tossing it in the washing machine. It's awesome.

Just so you know, it's a hippy dippy snack bag because it could *not* be a "tree-huggin' hippie crap" bag. No one wants a crap bag. And because I know that my Mom and Grandma might find a fabric bag for snacks to be a little bit crunchy. I mean, it's a little hippie for even my standards. And I quit eating meat. Again.

Aaaand before you start criticizing, I know that I'm not an expert at sewing. Many people could have whipped up what I did in half the time and it would probably even have looked better. But those people can get off the internet and get back to sewing their homemade Snuggies (Seriously, it's just a robe that you put on backwards. Wow. Is a blanket too hard for you? Maybe you shouldn't be running around with straight pins and scissors...)

Now I'm gonna go ride my new bike.

hippy dippy snack bag

2009-03-05T11:17:00.011-05:00

I don't know if you all have noticed, but my recent blogs typically have nothing to do with wedding planning. The beginning of wedding planning is really interesting and involves picking things out, finding "the" dress, etc. The middle of wedding planning, in my case, involved the holidays and kinda taking a wedding planning hiatus. I assure you everything will get done and the wedding will happen and be fabulous. I also assure that this post will not be wedding related, but I promise to put a picture of my cat at the end in case you get bored.

Loosely wedding related, I've been on my aforementioned fitness kick. The fitness kick is closely related to my "save the planet" kick. We quit buying bottled water and using our aluminum water bottles. We have always recycled, but now I'm obsessive with it (I take a Diet Coke to work everyday and bring the can home to recycle it because I can't bare the thought of putting a perfectly recyclable item in the trash). Fast forward to last week. I realized that three days in a row, I had used and thrown away a Ziploc bag. So I decided to use some of the extra fabric laying around to make reusable snack bags and post on here my first attempt at a tutorial.

Step one: Dig up some fabric. I decided I'd be an expert quilter a few years ago and needless to say that didn't happen so I had some leftover fabric. Since it's just plain ol' cotton, nothing that will be damp, ooze, or have any sort of sticky wetness can be put in this bag. I was planning on using it for trail mix so that wasn't really a problem, but I did decide to line my bag. This made this exponentially more difficult, but I knew that when I started.

Step two: Cut out two pieces of each fabric that are the same size and shape. In my version of crafting, nothing is an exact science because I'm impatient. My best friend from high school and I met in Home Ec, where we agreed ironing our fabric before we got to sew was bullshit because it delayed the instant gratification. I did however wash and dry this fabric since it's going to touch food. Pin the pieces right sides together on three sides. What I *should have* done was pin and sew it together on three and a half sides, but I didn't really "plan ahead." Because that's for losers.

Step 3: Turn what you just sewed together right side out. You could totally stop here and have a not-lined, two color bag. But then you'd have to put the zipper in right away and trust me, you wanna avoid that for as looooong as possible.

Step 4: Pin the "outside" right sides together so that the seams will run up the sides of the bag. I wanted the teal color to be outside, not that janky lime color, so I pinned it so the teal was inside. Sew that shit up.

Step 5: Here's where the pictures drop off because I decided it was up to you to figure out the zipper. I had a hard time and I won't show you what happened. There was cursing. I was angry. I did in fact stab myself with a straight pin trying to pin the zipper to the fabric. Also, this was the part where it would have been REALLY FREAKING HELPFUL if I had finished that edge that I mentioned earlier.

Step 6: Pour yourself a stiff drink if it's after noon and you just installed a friggin' zipper because you're saving the damn planet. Take a couple pictures of your Blackberry in said bag to prove that it can contain things. Notice that when using your Macro setting on your camera that you can see all of the fuzzies on your touchscreen phone.If it's not after noon and you're zipper looked like mine did, you don't get a stiff drink and you're gonna want to cover up where you stitched the zipper. Find some ribbon and THE BEST THING EVER, no-sew hemming tape. I have these items on hand because last year I was going to make a Christmas tree skirt. I made the skirt part and was going to decorate it with ribbon, but was so angry by the time I got done that I just quit. We had a lame looking plain blue felt tree skirt that promptly got covered in cat hair and disintegrated in the washing machine this year.

Step 7: Cover up your nastiness. If you've never used the no-sew tape, I am telling you right now, DO NOT GET IT ON YOUR IRON. IT WILL RUIN YOUR IRON. We have an old cheap-o iron and that works just fine, but I got a little bit of tape on it and was horrified. I managed to salvage it, but if you have a nice iron, be very very very careful. And don't say I didn't warn you.
This is the bag's good side. And no, I'm not going to show you its bad side. You see that brown stuff on the ironing board there at the right? That's where I wasn't careful with the hem tape and glued some pants to my iron and then assumed the iron wouldn't stain anything. At least it wasn't the pants I guess...

It's bigger than I had intended. I guess when I was "measuring" at the beginning I was imagining more of a seam allowance. Whatev. Now I can put *more* trail mix in it. It's a little crooked and wonky, but it is handmade with no pattern or real measurements (or rulers or yard sticks). Ideally I'm going to make a few more so that I don't have to put a small amount of something in a huge bag. Maybe I'll show you those too. Maybe not. Here's my cat.

10 pounds?

2009-03-02T12:47:00.000-05:00

I have officially lost about 10 pounds. Jonathan has two five pound hand weights and I picked them up yesterday and was shocked. I knew I was feeling "lighter", had noticed changes in the way my clothes fit, and had watched the number on the scale get smaller, but this was the first time I had felt what ten pounds was exactly.

So in celebration and necessity we went to Old Navy looking for cheap clothes for me to wear (especially work pants) while I was continuing to lose weight. I definitely went down a size there, but I had forgotten that when it comes to clothes at Old Navy, I can pretty much only wear their shirts. I needed pants. All of my pants are too big! The pants that were my "skinny" pants that I could only wear once or twice a month are now the only pants that fit. And one of those pairs is even a little big and slouchy now. So there was no depression based on feeling overweight, but there was massive frustration in that I really loved the clothes I tried on! I really wanted a pair of mint green capris to wear on biz-cas-Fri. I really wanted a pair of relaxed cargo pants. I really wanted a pair of blue chinos to replace the khakis I have. But none of those fit me right. I know I'd oddly shaped, but wow.

So I am still working on losing more weight and finding a place where a girl with a full chest and big butt can buy clothes. Where did I shop before???

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike.

2009-02-27T12:52:00.000-05:00

I did ride my bike back to work at the end of my lunch break yesterday and then of course I had to ride it home. Jonathan met me in the parking lot after work and rode home with me for fun. We both agreed that a short bike ride at 6:15 is lovely.

I was all excited to ride my bike today and of course it's raining.

Tonight Jonathan and I are going to see the UT Dance Company spring show. I've heard good things about the pieces this year so I'm excited to see what they've put together. (See how totally into dance I am right now? I'm so artistic.)

I'm a dork and since we've quit buying bottled water, I'm trying to ride my bike as much as possible, and I quit eating meat and HFCS, now I'm convinced that I need to make little snack sized fabric bags so that I don't generate one bag of trash a day when I combine almonds and dried cranberries for my 11:00 snack at work. I was going to use some old sheets to make grocery bags, but Jonathan showed up at home with two gigantic Regions bank reusable grocery bags, so those are no longer necessary. All I need for my baggies are little zippers.

I bought a Timbuk2 messenger bag last night so that I can carry all of my belongings to work with me and not have to borrow Jonathan's Timbuk2 bag indefinitely. The bag was purple and on sale. Clearly I needed it. Now I just have to work on being patient while it's shipped to me. I'm not good at patient.

I am doing pretty good at not feeling inadequate though. I almost felt inadequate at work today. I actually had the thought, "Maybe I'm just never going to get a handle on this" and I got sad. Then I remembered that I gave that up and reminded myself that I am capable of doing whatever I put my mind to, and that if I didn't care to put my mind to it, the least I could do was be better than everyone else at work. Inadequacy has just been replaced with a need for superiority. Great....

new phone, new ring, lent.

2009-02-25T11:42:00.000-05:00

I got a Blackberry. I had been whining about how badly I neeeeeeeeeded a Blackberry Storm since before they came out. I neeeeeeeeded a touch screen Verizon compatible PDA. I needed it. I needed it bad.

So last Saturday, I got one. And I love it. I love love love it. It's the best thing ever. Wow.

We picked up my wedding band last night, which reminds me of the story I promised to tell about picking out my ring. We went out looking for bands a while back and my rule was that we needed matching bands. I wanted them to be a pair and be the same and I wanted people to see them and know that we were married to each other, not anyone else in the room who was wearing a wedding band. Well the band I loved was plain white gold with a milgrain edge and Jonathan did not like the milgrain. So we looked at different things and I kept coming back to that one ring. Jonathan found a band that he liked but I was still searching. So then I decided that we could either have exact matching bands or my ring needed to have diamonds in it. So we looked at diamond bands. The problem we ran into there was that all of the bands were too short in comparison to my fairly tall ring. Insert more disappointment here.

Then one day we went to have a drink with Kait at the Backroom. For Halloween, Kait was Sarah Im-Palin (complete with stake through the heart) and she bought a ridiculous plastic-y bridal set at Claire's. She had found the wedding band portion of that set and randomly worn it out that night. I caught sight of it on her finger, snatched it, popped it on my ring finger, and looked at it in awe. I found it. It was plastic. So I did something silly. I took that ring to Helzberg and said "Do you have anything that looks like this?" Then we bought it. Now it's mine. I don't have any pictures yet so you have to trust me that it's awesome.

Lent. Ahh, lent. I have never been Catholic. The thought of giving something up for 40 days despite the fact that I'm not Catholic always seemed like a faddish thing to do. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that similar to a New Years Resolution, it's about making small changes or doing small things to make a big impact. If you do without something for 40 days, you can decide if that's something you need in your life or not. So this year, for Lent, I'm giving up feeling inadequate. This is actually something that I do a lot. I let myself feel bad or like I'm not good enough quite regularly and it's just not productive. For 40 days, any time I feel like feeling bad or not good enough, I'm going to remind myself that I gave up that self destructive habit for a small amount of time and that this is an opportunity for growth and learning and that I am more than qualified for my job, for my life and that I'm at least completely competent.

At least I'm going to until I forget that it's Lent and throw myself a pity party.

valerie is exhausted.

2009-02-19T22:04:00.000-05:00

I just got home from my last regular rehearsal for this show. We have a dress rehearsal and two shows and it's back to my normal schedule for a bit before the real wedding craziness begins.

This week has flown by and after the weekend flies by it will already be Monday again and the week starts all over again.

I'm watching America's Best Dance Crew. I want to be able to break dance really badly. Like a lot. This is one of those things I could probably feasibly do, but I know I probably never will. I'd love to be able to do freezes and spins and awesomeness. I do *not* ever want to listen to Lil' Mama talk about my dancing. Her lip gloss is cool, though.

rain rain rain

2009-02-18T11:43:00.000-05:00

So Jonathan did buy me a bike for Valentines day. He didn't get me the pink bike. We looked at the pink bike and deemed it too pink to live. The bike he did get my is a red Schwinn cruiser that looks a lot like the pink one, but it is far superior. The problem is that I have not actually had a chance to ride said bike other than up and down the aisle at Walmart. Because it is raining. Now if we refer to our handy dandy 25 things about Valerie list, we will note that I don't mind the rain typically. In fact, I like it. Today's rain is bittersweet for me. I love watching it, I love the way it makes the lamp light in the living room look, the whole nine yards. But I get off work at 3:30 today and I'd really like to ride. Ugh.

I have been super busy lately, hence the lack of blogging. I'm the show I'm in is this weekend at the KMA, so I've been busy with rehearsals and exercising to try not to embarrass myself in blue spandex. I had Presidents Day off and I spent it frolicking about with Kait and then lounging around the house with Jonathan.

Quick updates I might write more about later:
-Jonathan hung fabulous shelves in the kitchen
-My wedding band is in (funny story behind picking it out)
-I got a haricut
-I love Rod Stewart

Let me know if any of those topics interest you and I'll do my best to elaborate. There's a pretty good story behind each of them.

valerie is sick of writing titles in the third person.

2009-02-12T12:37:00.000-05:00

So I got up this morning at the usual time and staggered my way to the bathroom as usual. But something was different today... I was more stagger-y. My head was spinning. I almost fell down twice while in the shower. (This is a huge fear of mine. I'll fall in the shower and the paramedics will have to come get me while I'm bare-ass naked. If this ever happens to me, I assure you I will beg someone to put clothes on me.)

I got out of the shower and started getting dressed, still dizzy. As usual when I'm feeling bad I complained to Jon about how weird I felt. He suggested the smart thing to do: eat something. So I ate. I finished getting ready to go and got myself out the door. Driving felt illegal. I got to work and hoped that sitting down would make me feel better. Nope. Our chairs are work are the tall rolling ones and instead of feeling better I felt a lot like a golf ball on top of a tee. Not stable and unhappy. Bending over, counting money, standing up, sitting down, all of those tasks were difficult and uncomfortable. I even noticed my handwriting looked weird.

So I came home. I feel guilty for leaving. I'm not "sick." I was just a danger to myself in the event that I did actually fall down and hurt myself. I feel a lot better than I did, but I'm still feeling a little weird.

I have no idea what caused this. It could very easily be any number of things. I quit eating meat again, so I just radically changed my diet. I didn't eat much for dinner and the last thing I ate was at 6:00 before rehearsal. I've lost about 8 pounds in the past 2 months and my weight is still steadily decreasing. Maybe my blood sugar was low. Or high. Or something.

In other news we have an appointment to taste the food we're serving at our reception and also to taste cake. Mmm. Vanilla cake. I'm sure it will be so different and exciting. I'm mostly excited about telling them what kind of cake I want and telling them what kind of cake to make me. I'm trying to make sure I don't get all Bride-zilla on them and yell about fondant and how if they make my cake a tacky mess I'll make them eat the entire thing themselves. There has been zero communication about cake design and so I'm a little concerned about whether or not they're going to please me.

Also I want this bike. Maybe not this bike exactly, but definitely a cruiser. I think I'm going to try to trade/sell/give away my bike that I don't like and don't feel comfortable on so that I can get a girl bike and ride it to work instead of driving. I have a literally 2 minute drive to work and since I'm in the middle of a fitness kick and also a 'save the planet' kick, I might as well combine them and ride a bike to work.

2009-02-09T22:22:00.000-05:00

I am trying. I am trying so hard. I get frustrated so easily. It's like a roller coaster. I was riding pretty high all day long and then a few things happen and I'm feeling down and discouraged and frustrated again. I'm sick of being moody and emotional and embarrassed and self conscious and irritated and irritating and frustrating to everyone else around me.

I had an awful nightmare this morning which woke me up. It's a good thing that it woke me up because for the first time in a very long time, I set my alarm for 6:30 pm instead of 6:30 am. The bad part is that I didn't get anymore sleep after the most frightening part of my dream and now I'm still scared by it. I guess it's not that big of a deal, but it took place in my parents' house, a place I feel very safe and the basic gist of the dream was that this frightening stranger was breaking into this safe place right in front of my eyes even though I tried to outsmart him. I used to have nightmares pretty regularly while I was in college, but I haven't had one in a long time. I've had a few recently. I'm hoping it's stress related and that they might go away soon.

Last night, we picked out and Jonathan bought my wedding band. I love it. It's beautiful. I would love to be able to wear it now... It's part of a set, so it had to be ordered and once it comes in, it will have to be sized. Aaaand then it will have to wait until May 24.

valerie is stupid.

2009-02-06T12:42:00.000-05:00

So even after last night's blog, I somehow managed to forget my embarrassment about my blue sausage costume and invited all of my coworkers to the show.

Seriously? I cannot believe I just did that.

valerie has a different and bigger (quite literally) problem.

2009-02-05T22:22:00.001-05:00

I'm going to preface this by saying that this is in no way a call for compliments or flattery. I'm not fishing. I swear. I just feel like I need to get all this out.

I'm overweight. Not by a whole lot, but it's definite. I'm aware. I've known for a while. When you've been dancing since you were ten and had the metabolism of a greyhound, you notice when something new jiggles when you're just walking in a hurry. When I was younger, I was dancing all the time. When I wasn't dancing, I was sleeping or in school (for the record, I maintain I could have done either of those and danced at the same time). I could eat whatever I wanted and it didn't matter. I did eat whatever I wanted. When I was in college, I did not gain the freshman 15. In fact, I think I lost weight. I didn't gain any weight until my junior/senior year of college. College led to stress which led to beer which led to hangover food which led to flab. Due to the stress, I didn't notice the flab. Also, let's not forget the wonders of birth control. Regulates your period, alleviates cramps, and makes you gain 10 pounds and go up 2 cup sizes. All in one fabulous once daily pill. Seriously, I did not have boobs until 2 years ago. I promise.

So since I have this self awareness and I was done feeling sorry for myself and wondering how I let this happen, I decided to do something about it. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't really burn calories (though I've wondered before how many calories a good cry burns) and I knew exactly how I let this happen (see above). Jonathan and I joined the Y about a year ago and we started going all the time. I went at least 3 times a week for a month, then I was really sick for 2 days and my awesome stretch of working out was over. I was in the middle of taking a break from dance so that I could focus on school. There was all kinds of drama going on in the dance community at the time and I didn't have the energy to put towards what I was seeing for the first time as an extra-curricular activity, rather than just something I did because it as part of who I was. Anyway, that's another long story.

So fast forward to now. Not as a New Year's Resolution, but as a change I knew I needed to make in my life, I started to change the way I thought about food. Food as fuel, rather than comfort or something to do when I'm bored. We started trying to go to the gym everyday there was time. I'm dancing two or three nights a week. We started this hundred push up challenge and the two hundred sit up challenge. I'm making more food at home and making sure that it's healthy. We don't go out as much. And I feel great. To put it out on the internets, I lost 6 pounds in the past month. Holy shit. That's insane. Seriously. That's like Biggest Loser shit. Ideally, you're only supposed to lose one to two pounds a week. What the hell was I carrying around that I dropped it like it was hot???

So here I am, feeling like hot stuff, knowing that I still have a long way to go, but thinking that I can totally achieve this and that my goal is to just turn my body into a machine. Last night was the first night I really felt good dancing. It just felt like it was clicking.

Then there was tonight's rehearsal.

The studio we dance in regularly doesn't have mirrors. (How ridiculous is that?) So one of the local studios that has a great relationship with Momentum lets us use one of their studios for rehearsal tonight. Mirrors. Nothing like the first time you realize you're the only overweight person in the room. (Please refer to my list of 25 things about me where I mention my self image is of me when I graduated high school.) So I make it through rehearsal okay, I guess, and then there's discussion of costumes for this show at the end of the month. Lo and behold, the choreographer has said costumes. Cornflower blue lycra pants and top. I put on a large and can see a clear silhouette of my underwear which was previously invisible to the eye. Hell, as far as I knew it was invisible to the eye. Maybe everyone else saw my underwear all night but I was blissfully ignorant until then. So these lovely blue pants make me look and feel like a sausage. I love sausage and apparently that fact is clear when you look at my ass in those pants. So here I am, a cornflower blue sausage with the biggest boobies in the room, and everyone else looks fabulous or normal and they are all also convinced they look like cows. Now I understand that no one was trying to make me feel bad. Everyone was caught up in their own little bubble of self consciousness (or they were totally cool with wearing what they were wearing.) But again, there's nothing like knowing you are the biggest person in the room and that everyone else things *they* look fat. What am I then? Where do I fit in? I clearly must be morbidly obese if the girl half my size needs to wear the same size pants as me. WTF?

So now I'm trying to remind myself that I'm working towards a goal and that you can't lose 30 pounds overnight. It's just killing me that I didn't start sooner.

Damn it.

valerie has an exceptional dog.

2009-02-05T12:41:00.000-05:00

My dog is the best dog.

Yes, she runs directly out the door if you leave it open long enough. Sure she doesn't like dogs that are bigger than her. But she is the best dog around.

She is a very happy dog even though she doesn't look like it in pictures. (If you had dangle-y ears and sad eyes you'd look sad in every pictures too.) She snuggles. She watches TV with me. She is very smart and sits and stays very well. She keeps my feet warm in the winter and makes sure that I pet her enough by wedging herself between me and my computer. She love love loves Jonathan. She is very silly but is always there to console me when I'm sad. She wears a sweater and a parka and totally rocks a bandana. She's like my own personal kitchen roomba, dutifully eating all scraps dropped to the floor (Unless it's onion. She hates onions.) She loves everyone that comes to visit our house and chooses to welcome them by sitting next to them exclusively.

She is my very own trusty, faithful doggie and she does not allow dancing in her house. She barks. We're working on that.

Yay Chloe!

valerie has a problem.

2009-02-04T17:10:00.000-05:00

i'm addicted to wii fit. the last 2 nights, i have put off making dinner so that i can ski or twirl 5 hula hoops or (strangely) perform an aerobics class step routine with all of the other little avatars of people that have ever played wii sports at our house for a packed theater. (that last one is strangely really fun and if you've never played wii fit before then you have no idea what the hell i'm talking about. come play at our house.)

we just went to the actual gym and were i not waiting for jon to finish washing dishes so i can make spaghetti, i'd no doubt be snowboarding right now.

jeeze.

valerie is cold.

2009-02-04T13:57:00.000-05:00

well it's still vaguely snowy everywhere except for the left side of my house. the left side of my house, backyard, and the porch that leads up to the side door is still covered in 2 inches of snow. apparently that side doesn't really get much sun... hmm. jonathan shoveled the steps yesterday and i just remembered that i never thanked him for that. i didn't know we had a shovel. i hope we had a shovel... i'm not sure what he used if there was no shovel.....

anyway, only a little bit more progress on wedding planning. jonathan and his brother picked out what the groomsmen are going to wear. nice, grey, calvin klein tuxes. still no flowers picked out, still haven't picked out songs for dances, ceremony, etc. still haven't plotted out what the invitations will say, nor have i taken them to office max to be printed. i'm not sure why i'm dragging my feet on those things. honestly, it would probably only take a little bit of energy to do each, but i just can't make myself.

i have today off since i work this saturday, but i don't want to do any of those things by myself. i don't want to go to flower shops all alone. i need jon's help to pick out songs. hmph.

everything else is going well. i finally got jonathan the wii fit that i promised him for his birthday and we've been playing with that. for the record, it's super fun. not that i'm using the wii fit to lose weight, but it does weigh you, tell you your bmi, and graph all of your stats for you. it's rewarding to play video games and have it tell you that you've lost a pound and a half.

i suppose i'm off to wander around the internets again. woooooo. day off..... you know who else is off on a wednesday?

nobody.

valerie lists.

2009-01-29T22:08:00.000-05:00

Well... Everyone else was doing it...

1. My first cooking endeavor that wasn't macaroni and cheese or biscuits was this Christmas. I made a whole turkey, stuffing, deviled eggs, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and rolls. It was amazing and I was totally shocked. I didn't even poison one person.
2. I am really really really bad about starting things and never finishing them. Crafts, books, reorganizing projects. I have a half made quilt, about 20 squares of a Granny Square afghan that I'm crocheting, and a guest book for the wedding that isn't quite done.... I think craft-wise it's because I don't want to start out making a stupid potholder, I want to make a queen size comforter right out of the gate.
3. Catcher, my brown tabby cat, chases his tail for a whole day about once a month and it makes me so. freaking. happy. He hates that tail.
4. I grew an avocado tree sapling out of a pit that my mom gave me 2 years ago. He's a sad little sapling because he's too small to be on the floor and the house we live in doesn't have good lighting for inside plants.
5. I really don't mind when it rains. When it rained for 2 weeks this month I was totally fine with it. I kinda like it when it rains.
6. I have 2 pairs of red shoes that I wear when I can tell it's one of those days where things want to go wrong. They are classified as "red shoe days" and I typically make that call in the shower in the morning.
7. I hate hate hate misuse of your/you're, there/their, etc. It's not hard, kids. *You're* better than *your* misuse of the English language.
8. My first job was at a grocery store in Powell. I worked there for 3 years, much to my chagrin, and was one of about 5 people they originally trained to operate the new "u-scan" self checkouts. My job was to stand around and watch people attempt to use these machines, fail terribly at it, and then yell at me as if I did it. Therefore, I know exactly how those machines work and when Jonathan tries to use them at the grocery store I end up snapping at him for trying to scan things before the scanner resets. He is perfectly capable of using the self checkout and has he patience of a saint for dealing with me.
9. I have my BS in Psychology and I totally don't feel like I know enough about anything to have graduated college.
10. There's this exercise that they do with girls with eating disorders where they have them draw themselves life size on the wall in front of them. Ultimately what happens is the girls end up drawing people more than twice as wide as they actually are because that's how they perceive their own body. I'm terrified that if someone asked me to do that, the person I drew would be the size I was in high school rather than the (larger) size I am now.
11. I have only ever lived in Knox County. I grew up in Powell and moved to Knoxville. They're so close they're basically the same. I'm not sure that I'll ever move away.
12. My mom is awesome. I love her. She is hilarious and wonderful and I don't spend nearly enough time with her.
13. I love surprising people. (Good surprises only.) I am terrible at it. I get too excited and then just tell the person about whatever it is I'm doing.
14. I love reading and I very rarely actually do it. When I was in college, I had all this stuff to read for class that I never actually read, but I felt guilty reading for pleasure when I had all of this other material to read. Now I have to remind myself how much I love to read.
15. I was a vegetarian for about 3 months. I mostly just realized that I needed to change the way I ate and it's really difficult to "grab lunch at Wendy's" if you don't eat anything they serve. Also, FYI, the sour cream at Taco Bell isn't guaranteed to be vegetarian. I decided that if I was still going to eat fish and carry a leather purse that I could eat non-veggie sour cream.
16. I'm in the middle of reading The Omnivore's Dilemma and I'm currently terrified of high fructose corn syrup, prepackaged foods, and pretty much just food in general. Eating is scary unless I made it from scratch and even then it's dangerous.
17. I was on my way to work today and I was running late (as usual) and the Chicago song "Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is" came on the radio and as I was signing along "does anybody really know what time it is? does anybody really care?" I knew that being 3 minutes late to work was not a sin.
18. I want to be able to sing well so so so so badly. When I was a kid, my goal in life was to be a backup singer.
19. When I was in 8th grade, we did this thing where everyone answered lots of questions on the computer and then it told you what jobs you'd be good at. I answered all the questions and was really excited about seeing what I got and the computer told me that based on the answers I gave, there were no jobs that matched my personality. I still remember that feeling of disappointment and I still don't know what career is right for me.
20. I love Bruce Willis. Unconditionally.
21. Fears: needles (ohgawd), falling down (even little falls), locking my keys in the car/house (and having to walk to work with the dog to call Jonathan for a key), etc.
22. I know lots and lots and lots of song lyrics. Like a lot of songs. Kait also hates that I can recognize a song within a couple seconds of it coming on.
23. Planning a wedding has not been that hard for me. Stressful, yes. Expensive, yes. Hard, not so much. You just have to figure out your options, make a choice, and then pay for it. Paying for it is hard.
24. I have a routine in the morning and if the routine is disrupted I will probably forget to brush my teeth.
25. If there is a present, for me, in the house, I can't handle it. I badger. I harass. It totally drives me crazy to not know what it is. Christmas is a difficult time at our house.

thinking of 25 non-embarrassing, non-depressing facts about me was surprisingly hard. after i made my list i remembered my undying distaste for rachael ray and kelly ripa, that i misspelled dormitory in the spelling bee in elementary school and went out like 4th in the whole school, and that when i wake up in the morning i am almost always burning up.

in other news, we found an officiant! jon's mom and i bought all of the stuff to decorate for the rehearsal dinner! i did a trial run on our invites and it doesn't look retarded! i don't feel like i'm behind anymore! hooray!!

valerie spends more money...

2009-01-06T11:29:00.000-05:00

days til the wedding: 138

my wedding dress is in, so last saturday mom and i went to wedding wonderland and i paid for the second half of my dress and i bought my veil and shoes. i swore up and down that i wouldn't buy my shoes at a bridal shop, but these shoes are cute, and even trying on an 8 1/2 while i actually wear a 10, they were surprisingly comfortable. they have a thick enough heel that i won't sink into the grass while taking pictures and i'll actually be able to wear them for more than 30 seconds. see 'em. (i paid less than they're asking on the website, btw.) in addition to being pretty cute, they're going to dye them to match my bridesmaids dresses.

i only have one picture of my veil. mom took it with her cell phone because i, of course, forgot my camera. it's the first time i'm trying on my wedding dress and i totally forgot my camera. whatever. i'm not going to post a picture of me in my veil because it's a full length picture and on the off chance jonathan reads this, he'd see me in my dress. (yes, i know i posted a picture of myself in my dress, but it's just from the chest up.)

long story short, i feel good about getting everything done, but i am totally short on cash for 2 weeks until i get paid again. the good thing is that since we were so busy over the holiday season, it'll be nice to stay home and lounge around while trying to get back into my routine. it's also a good excuse to cook food at home when i can. i made spaghetti and meatballs last night. there's something about making meatballs or chili or whatever that i just really enjoy. i always thought i couldn't cook, but then i made a whole Christmas spread that was awesome. and maybe one day i won't have to call kait once a week to ask her things about substitutions and what the difference is between white and yellow onions. (yellow onions are sweeter. and also doesn't make my eyes hurt as bad. see, i'm learning!)

i've already out grown my tiny little food processor. if only we had storage space for a bigger one. mom offered me her kitchen aid mixer, but where would i put it? sorry kids, no more toast at my house. the toaster was sacrificed for mashed potatoes with absolutely no lumps. (i. hate. lumps.) how often do we use the toaster anyway? maybe we could actually do that.... hrmm...

who has good recipes? send 'em to me. i'm totally on a roll.

valerie cooked. no seriously, i did.

2008-12-28T13:13:00.001-05:00

christmas came and went, which is a little bittersweet. while i'm glad that all the stress that comes with the holiday season is over, so is all of the anticipation and excitement. i'm assuming all 3 of you who read my blog know about my history of christmas vs. no christmas, so you all know that i kind of do christmas my own way (sans angels, santa claus, etc.). i just enjoy the excuse to give gifts to the people i love, and even more, the reason to get together with those people. this was a year that my future brother in law's family would be out of town and i couldn't get off work to go visit the future in laws in memphis, so they came to us. which meant someone had to cook a lot of food and i was the only one with a kitchen in town.

i made so much food. and it was edible. and it was tasty. and i was amazed.

my parent's and jonathan's parents came to our tiny house where we set up a table for six in our tiny living room and it was wonderful. we're still eating leftovers and while i'm about sick of turkey, jonathan is still pretty happy with a turkey sandwich for every meal.

last night, kait and liz and i had our "dinner instead of gifts dinner" at chez guavara. it was tasty as always and we sat outside on December 27 due to the unseasonably warm weather. i have to admit, it wasn't quite warm enough to eat outside, but the tables were first come first serve and we'd been waiting for 45 minutes already. so we sat. i had a wonderful time, but it made me a little sad when we got home and i realized that i was so excited because the 3 of us never really get to hang out all together. i think in the past 2 months, we've all been together maybe a total of 3 times. it's just hard when we're all in school or working full time and planning a wedding or applying to grad school or doing internships. regardless, a lovely time was had by all and due to elizabeth's demands for spaghetti and meatballs as sunday night dinner, there will be spaghetti and meatballs at my house at 6:00 pm. liz in bringing salad.

anyway, kait and i collected jonathan and went to backroom afterwards for a drink. kait and i played with our cameras.

overall, it was a lovely holiday and we still have new years to look forward to this week which means another day off, more company, more late nights, and hopefully an amazing cap to a busy and exciting year. what was i doing this time last year? definitely not planning a wedding. which actually is what i've been doing this time this year. we haven't made any more definite plans due to how busy we've been. so far we have a location, my dress, bridesmaids' dresses ordered, a caterer (who will also make our cake), a photographer, and a dj. i'm working on invites (vaguely DIY) and trying to get centerpieces and flowers nailed down. yes, we still need an officiant, so if you know one, let me know.

happy holidays and happy new year!!

valerie takes pictures

2008-12-21T13:33:00.001-05:00

a photographer on weddingbee pro posted a tutorial on how to take decent pictures of your engagement ring so i tried it out. you can check out 6 pictures on my facebook page, but i wanted to post one on here.

ta-da!

valerie is sicky.

2008-11-21T12:57:00.000-05:00

days til the wedding: 184

i'm home sick today. i just have a cold, but i feel like i've been beat about the face and head with a large stick. i'm wearing 2 pairs of pants, a tshirt, long sleeved tshirt, and a sweatshirt. and i'm under a blanket.

we had our engagement pictures done on wednesday in the old city. you can see a sneak peek here. angel did a fabulous job and i'm so excited to see the rest! we had dinner at barley's and as we were walking back to our car i realized we took a lot of pictures in a whole lot of places. so exciting.

we're going to look at bridesmaids' dresses tomorrow, so i'm hoping we can find the dresses and be done with that tomorrow. that's another big stress that could potentially be off my shoulders. and a box i can check off the list.

we got our save the dates in earlier this week, but did not get the envelopes that were supposed to come with them. one snide email later and they're being shipped, should be here mid-next week. i tried to passive-aggressively get them to send them to me 2 day shipping like i paid for the first time, but obviously that's didn't happen. 2 notes to self: 1. don't be passive aggressive, just be aggressive aggressive, and 2. just don't ever order anything from them ever ever again. everything took twice as long as they said it would and while the magnets were cute and cheap, i would have loved to have it about 2 weeks earlier.

we've officially booked our dj now. i'll have a check for the caterer tomorrow. we're looking at bridesmaids dresses tomorrow. yesssss. get things done. as long as i can break my ties with the box of kleenex and my layers upon layers, things should be smooth sailing.

valerie tries again.

2008-11-11T10:49:00.000-05:00

i made an attempt to add a picture of some embossing in my last post, but apparently i'm not smart enough to figure out how to make it so there's text between my pictures. argh. so here you go. no, i didn't draw that myself. it's a rubber stamp. but isn't it so pretty?

2008-11-11T10:09:00.000-05:00

Days til the wedding: 194

what you see above here is proof that i can follow a pattern from a pumpkin carving pattern book and that jonathan is more creative than me. on the left is jonathan's twin brother enrique. enrique is quite the ladies man. jonathan carved his likeness into his gourd. enrique is a very silly joke between jonathan and his mom, but the idea to make him a jack o lantern was smart. on the right is my skeleton guy. i used a pattern and within two days, my poor little skeleton's head started to curl up into the pumpkin so he was headless. sad. enrique held up pretty well. we also carved a small pumpkin for chloe, but we didn't get any pictures of it when we first carved and now it's rotten. yum.

i have almost completely finished the envelopes for our guest book. i just have one more color to cut and fold. my excuse is that it's the darkest color envelope and the pencil lines would be hard to cut along in our dimly lit living room. the reason that excuse is a silly excuse is that this paper is the closest to eggplant, my personal favorite shade of purple and the one i'm probably going to use the most in our wedding. i've been heat embossing a little here and there. i can't believe how nice and professional it looks and how freakishly easy it is. weird.

in nonwedding related news, i'm off work today for veteran's day and i could not go back to sleep after jon left for work at like 8:30. now i'm watching the today show, which i don't actually enjoy. how long has kathy lee gifford been on there? why is she so unbelievably irritating? is she stupid on purpose? seriously. i hate her almost as much as kelly ripa and i really really really really hate kelly ripa. the reason i bring up the today show other than my hatred of mrs. gifford, is that i have seen a few christmas ads including the hershey's kiss ad that's been running forever where they ring like bells. at walmart on sunday there were christmas decorations out and they were playing only christmas songs instead of whatever else they play in walmart. i just realized i have no idea what sort of background music they play at walmart. when i worked at the grocery store it was pretty much smooth jamz all the time, but i have no idea what they do at walmart other than christmas music. i am pretty excited about christmas, but with all this wedding stuff going on, i haven't saved any money for gifts. in fact, i'm broke from ordering save the dates, buying craft supplies, and eating food.

oh and i've taken 2 dance classes in the last month. i've decided that it's time to start making my schedule include dance again. i miss it. i'm out of shape. i could be in shape and not missing dance if i just went to class. see how that works. so if you call me on mondays, you're out of luck.

i should blog more. these things end up being ridiculously long because i have a lot to talk about. if i blogged more regularly, the individual blogs would be shorter... note to self.

valerie is crafty.

2008-11-05T12:37:00.001-05:00

days til the wedding: 200

so i realized that i do not like traditional guest books. either it's just a line where someone signs their name and gets to leave no message or it's one of those photo mats where everyone signs and we never hang it on the wall because someone writes something totally inappropriate (or it's just ugly... that too). i decided instead to make this. next problem, couldn't find purple, blue, and green little envelopes, so i'm making them. it's going really well. i'm a big disappointment though because i don't have any pics to upload. maybe when i'm done.

since the envelopes have been fun and i'm really enjoying having a craft with a purpose (and a deadline), i've decided to make our invitations. so they will either be totally and completely amazingly awesome, or they might just tell you when the wedding is. i'm hoping for awesome due to the recent purchases of a dry embossing ScrapBoss (you have to say it in a really silly voice: scraypbawwsss!) and a fabulous stamp, embossing powder, and a heat gun for heat embossing. i'm currently convinced that it is going to be just amazing. ultimately i'll save money because i can make alllllll of the insert cards for invitations, allllll of my thank you cards, and any other paper product like programs, signs for the guest book table, etc. and it will all be the same theme. and it will all be handmade. i'm hoping it doesn't look like a kindergarten project.

in other news, i'm spending most of my time on www.weddingbee.com and theknot.com looking at other people's bios, reading about what they're giving their bridesmaids, etc.

also, big high fives on electing our first african american president. thumbs up, america! lookin' good.

valerie gets shit done, yo.

2008-10-30T12:36:00.000-04:00

admittedly, this is a picture of me from vacation (our engagement honeymoon) but this is how i feel right now. "check it out! fabulous!" but in the picture i'm talking about our hotel room and now i'm talking about myself and how much i rock.

days til the wedding: 206

ok. i'm feeling good. riding high. we have:

a location for the ceremony and reception
a photographer
my dress
a DJ
save the dates ordered
almost picked a caterer
rehearsal dinner site booked (thanks to jon's mom)

look at that list! that's such a great list! it's huge! so long! awesome.

we met with 2 great caterers and are definitely leaning towards one rather than the other. most of the big stuff is almost done! once we do that we really get to start personalizing and making it ours. we did that a little in leaning toward one caterer rather than the other. pretty exciting. it feels really good to get things done, check things off the list that i should have already done.

awesome.

valerie catches up.

2008-10-22T11:25:00.001-04:00

days til the wedding: 214

so i haven't blogged in forever, but i do have an excuse! i have a few excuses. number one, my birthday was on the 15th and it totally crept up on me with all this wedding planning whatnot. we had people over and it was a wonderful time. kait made me a fabulous funfetti cake, just like i asked. it was so much more than i ever could have expected. three glorious layers of goodness, covered in the most wonderful icing ever scooped out of a plastic cup. excellent.

excuse number 2, as it was my birthday week, jonathan and i ran off to memphis. that was also quite fabulous. successful shopping trips abounded and we came home with ten times as much stuff as we came with.

excuse number 3, i've been busy with other things... you know, like planning my wedding. we met with a few photographers and we've decided on one. all that's left is calling grandpa, presenting my case as to why i chose the photographer i did and then, you know, paying for it. tiny detail. we're meeting with a caterer tonight and then a dj and another caterer next week. i'm not sure who is paying for the caterer or the dj, but i guess maybe we'll figure it out when we know roughly how much those things cost.

so here's something about the books and website and magazines that has been just driving me nuts since day one. every single one says "budget budget budget!" "stick to your budget!" "make a budget and do not stray from the budget!!!!!" now all of that sounds like great advice at first. then you start thinking, "so how much should i budget for a cake? i'll just get online and see how much they run." haha, it's a trick! no you won't find out how much something costs! yes you will try and try and look at a million different places you'd never even dream of booking just to see if one single vendor will post even a rough estimation of how much they cost. they want to suck you in and sell you something before you realize they are going to charge you out the ass for something you didn't think you needed yesterday. how do i make a budget when family members are being so kind as so help, but i don't know how much things cost when i ask them to pay for things??? ok. *end rant*

the good thing is i feel like i'm really actually getting things done with all this choosing of photographers and interviewing of caterers and djs. i told kait yesterday that i frankly don't care what the food is at my wedding. i want to have some. i want to eat food on my wedding day. i just don't really care what it is. i just want to book someone and mooooove along. get it done. (no, not git 'er done.)

i'm actually getting to a point where i can see what my wedding might look like rather than just a pile of things i like. i like mason jars. i like candles. i like tall thin cylindrical vases. i like square vases. i like hydrangeas. i like calla lilies. i feel like i'm starting to weed out the things that don't really go with my vision. it's hard to stick to a theme when you don't know what your theme is. previously the theme has been "my wedding" rather than "art deco" or "elegant southern" or "wedding on a budget." i'm not sure what the theme is now, but once i can visualize it fully, i'll make a silly name and let you know.

valerie tries to find a photographer.

2008-10-10T12:51:00.000-04:00

ooookay. so great pictures our wedding are really really important to me. that's the one thing that i'm going to be able to look at every day to remember our day. so finding a good photographer is high priority. i've found several that are great and still within our budget, but trying to set up appointments to look at their work is the biggest pain in the ass. especially since i work all day long until 6:00 usually. i usually do all my wedding stuff on the weekends, but that's when weddings are so they're busy. aaaghghhhhgh.... frustrating. it's also frustrating because i really like the first photographer we met with and i have this feeling we're going to end up going with her anyway. i know it's better to meet with lots of people and make sure, but jeeeeze.

that's pretty much it in wedding land. i'm starting to worry that there aren't going to be little details that make this wedding *our* wedding, but i'm sure there will be. all of the fun little personlized stuff comes at the end once you make sure you have all of your big bases covered.

ok. back to work. more later?

valerie bought a dress.

2008-10-02T12:39:00.000-04:00

days until the wedding: 234

well, the dress deposit has been paid, the dress has been ordered, and one more thing can be checked off my list. it's nice because for the first time it seems like this wedding is really happening. even if it all falls apart, we have a place and a dress and bridesmaids dresses are just a step away (kait's hands are currently up in the air. i promise you.). this will totally happen.

my grandparents very kindly offered to pay for a big ol' chunk of our expenses, so that was awesome. i was totally shocked. i wasn't shocked that they were helping, but it was just such a huge weight off of my shoulders that it surprised me. awesome. thank you grandparents!

other than that, not much to report. ***my birthday is coming up.*** that's important to report. less than 2 weeks kids. i'm so caught up in wedding stuff that i haven't had a chance to promote like i usually do. october 15 = birthday = awesome. it's a very simple equation.

oh, and it was cold this morning. being someone who doesn't really do cold weather, the first chilly morning made me want to stay in bed more than ever. even before i knew it was cold outside, i felt this need to turn the alarm off, call in sick to work, and wallow on the couch. really what i need to do is go through my closet, assess what fall clothes i have and then wear them. i like seasonal changes in clothes. i love the "i forgot i had this!" it's like having brand new clothes. i also dug my robe out of my closet this morning becuase it was frigid in the house. i'm pretty much just going to wear it all the time when i'm home because being nestled in fluff is the best thing that could happen so someone in a cold house. that and couch blankets.

blahhhhhhgghhh. back to work. how is it only 1:00? it feels like 5.

debates tonight... hehe.

valerie has no way out now...

2008-09-25T18:40:00.001-04:00

days til the wedding: 241
# of things theknot.com says i have left to do: 157
# of things theknot.com says i should have already done: 13

it is official (and has been for a couple days, but i forgot to blog it...). jonathan and i will be hosting some event at Butterfly Gap on May 24, 2009. no turning back now, we'll lose the deposit. and trust me, mom would killllll me. not just kill me, but strike me down and hide my body. so there's gonna be something going on there on that date, let's hope it's a wedding.

i thought the dog would use this time as "eatin' dinner time" but instead she is keeping me company on the couch. don't get me wrong, i love the doggie, but i'm hungry and kait is promising lasagna provided i show up with ricotta cheese and diced tomatoes. i think i can do that. jonathan is being a rock and roll star in cincinatti apparently eating at some awesome restaurant. jealous. i worked all day.

chloe is a good dog. she looks inquisitive with me.

valerie shops for things she won't have to pay for.

2008-09-24T15:06:00.000-04:00

days til the wedding: 242

i am in full on shop for bridesmaid dresses mode. it's fun because while i'm most definitely keeping price in mind, it's a huge load off to know that i'm not going to have to pay for these dresses. conveniently enough the dresses i like are fairly inexpensive. two of my bridesmaids are in college and the other two have small children, so a $300 dress is pretty much out of the question. plus, there's no reason to pay that much for a dress. psh.

i've also started looking into honeymoon locations. that is also fun. your job there is to look at pictures of sunny, beautiful places and then pick one to wallow in for a week. who doesn't love that? i want to go somewhere where i speak the language (and that does not include my vague recollection of french). so that limits me to english speaking countries. there are plenty of those. plus you know, there are lots of places in my very own country that i would love to go. back to california, hawaii, pretty much any beach... this is one thing i'm totally not worried about.

today was my first serious attempt at looking at invitations. there are lots and lots and lots of really ugly options. there are also some really pretty and very expensive options. i want to get out and look around locally to see what's out there. mygatsby.com has some super cool mix and match type things which i like. maybe my best guess at how much these things cost was way too low and i need to wrap my mind around cash money we're going to put stamps on and dump in a mailbox.

still feeling pretty good after finding the dress. give it a couple days. i'll be a basketcase again.

valerie finds the dress.

2008-09-23T12:34:00.000-04:00

days til the wedding: 243

let's start this entry with a flashback. "when i start looking at dresses, i know there are certain things i do NOT want. i refuse to wear a strapless dress. i don't want anything that laces up the back. i want to wear white, not ivory. i want something simple and elegant and i'm not going to wear a veil."

flash forward to the present. i have found the dress. the one. it's strapless. it has a built in corset with a lace up back (the lace will be blue). it's not white, it's champagne. it's covered in hand beaded gorgeous lace. and i'm looking for a veil. awesome. lesson learned. never say never.

i think mom and i are going to go one more place and try on dresses just to make sure there's no other dress that is the one. i'm pretty sure that they're all going to be another white dress, but just in case.

this one big success has made me feel so much better about the whole planning ordeal. i get so bogged down in needing to find a caterer and worrying about money and blah blah blah. these little tiny victories remind me that this monster of an event i'm planning is my very own wedding.

today i started looking at bridesmaids' dresses in a more serious way. before if i saw something i liked i'd ohh and ahh and today i started writing them down, looking into where we can get them in town, and thinking about what they're going look like on 4 bridesmaids that have a completely different body type than me. fortunately kait has been my right hand man on sending me suggestions for dresses from lots of different places. we'll find something great. (see how positive i am!)

also, we've got something potentially in the works for an officiant... finding someone to actually perform our ceremony has been something that has really made me nervous. finding someone who won't offend certain members of my religious family and still suits us personally might end up being really difficult. but we're working on something... hopefully...

ok. back to work. wedding blogging during lunch break time is over. argh.

valerie blogs.

2008-09-21T15:10:00.000-04:00

alright, first blog:

jonathan and i are getting married.

days til the wedding: 245
things i've gotten done: 4

so you get engaged and everyone fawns all over you and you gaze lovingly at your ring and the stars align and rainbows shoot out your ears and everything is made out of candy until someone says:

"eeeaagghhgkkkk!! have you set a date yet?!!?!?"

the first time it's ok. you can use the excuse that you just got engaged for a while. but after about the 18th time, you start to wonder why you didn't really think about the enormous task that you took on when you slid that ring on your finger.

yes, we set a date: May 24, 2009. yes, that is memorial day weekend. yes, that is a sunday. why yes, we are saving a chunk of change getting married on a sunday! what an astute question! also, my dream location was booked on that saturday, but not on sunday. so, you know, it works.

so checklist of things that are done:
*got engaged
*set a date
*found a place www.butterflygap.com
*started trying on dresses

just so you know, trying on dresses is, in fact, awesome. best time ever. deciding between 2 dresses you really really like, not so easy. i think i've made a decision. i'm 95% sure. that other 5% though is really harshing my buzz, though. we need to go try the same 2 dresses on again and see which one is "the one."

i've been on theknot.com a lot recently. they have this really fabulous thing where you can enter your guest list and the count everyone up for you and then when you send out invites and start getting rsvp's back in, you can check a box by their name whether or not they're coming. it's pretty awesome. they also have this checklist of things to do, which is helpful but a little irritating. when i log in, it tells me how many days until our wedding and how many things i have to do or else i turn into a pillar of salt: 161 things to do and by the way, 17 of them are "overdue." one of the things on the list was "think about how you might like to wear your hair." i checked that one off immediately. *think* about how you *might* like to wear your hair. ok. i might like to wear it up or down. done. check. next question. other things are really helpful like when you should start looking for florists, when you should nail down certain details, who you should have enlisted to help, etc. it's a pretty comprehensive list. i've been trying to check things off all the time because there's very little i love more than a completed to do list. i'm strange.

so we'd been trying to make sure we were working out, getting in shape, taking better care of ourselves all around. jonathan has been doing wonderfully and looks fabulous. me on the other hand, i've been a little more of a struggle. before we got engaged i thought, "once we get engaged, i'll have a goal and a time limit. i'll be more motivated and i will kick my own ass." in all actuality, i think about wedding things all day and by the time workout time rolls around i look like that comic strip character cathy when she's having her workplace-drama-chocolate-obsession meltdowns. (that comic strip just sucks. seriously. bad. ugh.) so my big triumph today was taking the dog running. it's sooo nice out right now and the dog has all this pent up energy so i figured we could both use a run. we ran maybe about a half a block before the dragging began. the big surprise here is that i was the one doing the dragging. the dog is out of shape. no wonder when we come back from vacation and pick her up from my parents' house she sleep for 3 days. she runs around in the big fenced in yard until she just collapses and has to recover on our futon. regardless, we both got a little bit of exercise and now we know that she actually does really well running, when she's not exhausted. she stayed right with me until she couldn't anymore and started lagging a little. by the time the wedding rolls around, we're both gonna be machines.

i guess that's all for now. i'm going to try to keep up with this and chronicle the gigantic feat of planning a wedding so that i can either be a good example or a horrible warning to all of my friends.